Let me jump into the metaphorical chocolate creme pie here with the Internet’s Helen of Troy Olivia Munn. If she starts wars then fine, I’m on Team Olivia. I’ve been a fan of hers for quite some time. It took a while at first because I was one of the people that resented the merger of TechTV and G4 back in ’04. But as time went on she grew on me. Not only because she gives me girl-wood, but because I watched her grow up from being someone who didn’t seem to know much about geekdom, and who had a hard time reading from prompters, to becoming a geek goddess. Olivia became that geeky girl she is today by paying her dues on AOTS. While exposed to all those gadget reviews, she really paid attention and absorbed it all. Eventually she began to speak intelligently based on product knowledge. Olivia went beyond being just a talking head atop a pair of hot boobs. Her book Suck It Wonder Woman! is both hilarious and moving. Yes, I said moving and no, I do not mean in the sexual way.

Her school experiences mirror my own, even with beginning in kindergarten. I too had weirdly out of touch foreigner’s for parents who dressed me in the oddest outfits, and combined with the glasses, and strange hairdos made me an instant pariah. What is it with children? What do they have against smart people, and those of us who are Asian-looking, is it genetic? Are the offspring of the stupid destined to put down those who are more intellectually inclined? On my first day of kindergarten I punched a boy right directly in the nose for laughing at me. Then I led the girls on a kick boys  in the balls game at recess, until awkward teachers attempted to explain to us 5 year olds why endangering the family jewels was unacceptable behavior. Preventing those jerks from having a family in the future didn’t seem like a bad thing, so we did it anyways. Having been bullied and tortured I relate to her story.

Above all Olivia is herself. I think she was born for comedy. She is gorgeous and her sense of humor plays against type. That natural talent is what brought her to the attention of stars like Tina Fey, and prompted a big career jump from late night stints on Jimmy Kimmel where she stole the show, to being a correspondent on the Daily Show. You never know what Olivia will say next, and that genuineness comes from a place of not giving a shit what people think. She has the bravado to be real.

As a first generation feminist, my bullshit filter is set incredibly low, (buy my book First Person Feminist) and Olivia is no fake. She’s the opposite of fake. Her book is dedicated to all the people who have been mean to her resulting in her thick skin. I’ve been there, I know what kind of fortitude it takes emotionally to survive having been a geek long before it was glamorus. I am looking forward to reading the rest of her book. It is written exactly the same way that she speaks which makes it funny as hell, as well as touching. (Stop it.)

If you were wondering if she actually wrote the book, it is obvious to those of us who have watched her perform live every day for several years, that she did indeed write it. And Olivia if you happen to see this and need an ally in the war against pseudo – feminists who think showing a little skin, or telling a few off color jokes makes you less feminine, a sell-out or sexist, remember they need re-education, not you. Anyone who wants to attack our Geek Goddess can form a line here, and recieve their kick in the balls (or ass) from me.