Fairway Solitaire HD iPad Game App Review

I never expected to play a solitaire game. But one finally got me. I don’t know if it was the gophers? I usually stay well away from cartoonish looking characters such as the famously out of temper birds. So when I came across this latest offering from Big Fish on the App Store, I don’t know what possessed me to download it. Maybe it was that weird mercury retrograde Masters tournament I watched a couple of weeks ago. It is a solitaire-like game. The numeric sequence of the playing cards can be placed either up or down. The cards themselves are not remarkable. They just look like regular boring playing cards. There aren’t any gophers or golf clubs on the cards. But when you play them it makes the sound of a golf ball being driven. There are narrators who make mundane and repetitive golf jokes or comment about how long it is taking you to make a move.

There are numerous “courses” which are varied layouts of the cards. Each one is referred to a a hole, and your solitaire moves are shots. A golf bag provided will hold utility “clubs” which are spare cards that you can employ when there is nothing on the table that you can match your drawn cards with. When you clear the board of all cards your score may be an Eagle or a double eagle, or a perfect. If one or more cards are left behind then you may get a birdie or just make par. If not there are bogeys.

Then the gophers show up. They laugh at your bad moves, as does the sound effects of a disappointed crowd… The gophers also attempt to distract you when concentrating. You can whack them, and obtain some points as revenge though.

The game is simple, and unique. In that goofy way that only golf can be. It’s addictive, and infuriating. It redoes an old standard, and somehow managed to snare me in. One night until 2:30 am. Or it could have been the iced tea. Either way, you can place a good deal of it for free, and if you get caught up in it, the full version is inexpensive.

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Boycott Infinity Blade 2

Under the topic of Fail, I was all set to play the new Infinity Blade 2 update content to review today. But now I find out that I won’t be. In fact I suggest that my readers Boycott Infinity Blade 2. In a handy way to alienate fans of IB2, the multiplayer and new features are only available via Facebook. That’s right it’s become a Facebook game now.
Facebook is malware, spyware and adware. Why would Apple allow developers selling through the App Store to subject Apple customers to Facebook? Disgusting, disappointing. Deleting Infinity Blade 2. No glowing reviews at my blog this time.

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Yakuza Dead Souls PS3 Review

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The Yakuza franchise hasn’t been as popular in the US over the years as it has been in Japan. Even though the series has had strong characters and a solid story line which is carried through each game in the series, it has consistently suffered from sluggish controls and camera problems. This zombified reiteration is even worse.

The trend of releasing a zombie version of a game was fun and interesting way back when Red Dead Redemption and COD BlOps did it. By now most gamers are ho – humming at the thought of yet another franchise dipping development into another infected pool of blood. The Yakuza zombie version of the game hasn’t added anything to the genre, and in fact has trouble pulling it off at all within the limitations of the game’s engine.

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Modern Girl The Ultimate Luxury Shopping Experience iPad Game App Review

After a weekend of playing lackluster jewel games and too many cutesy side scrollers and finding nothing worth mentioning for a game app review, I found Modern Girl. Once that had showed up I could not allow it to pass without comment.

It’s a feminist paradox. On one hand the premise of the game, using diamonds to pay for dates with men, so that they will buy you gifts, is disgusting. The guy characters are basically male whores. The female role that you play is superficial, materialistic and detached. If we ever have artificial intelligence with software written like this, the robots will take over the planet without compunction, if they are thinking like the characters in this game. Read more »

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Soul Calibur 5 PS3 Review

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Soul Calibur 5 is a solid fighter game based on a reliable old school franchise. There are many things about it that I would have done differently, but on the whole it is still a satisfying game. SC4 was a superb game with many outstanding playable female avatars. This game suffers from an overdose of sexism, which was unexpected coming from a franchise which in the past had won Best Female Avatar of the Year.

It began with problems in dealing with the choice to advance time in the story an entire generation. Where it begins seventeen years after the last volume, has made for uncomfortable choices. A two year time span in the story would have avoided many of the character issues. First is the troubling absence of many of the best female characters Sophitia, Taki and Seong Mi-na. Their replacements such as Natsu and Viola, and Xianghua’s daughter Yan Leixia, don’t measure up.

From the start, the opening credits are too gaudy with highly lit reds and blues. They blew too much space with the idiotic introduction. Overdone lighting effects that glare off the screen don’t impress anyone. It looks like an entirely different art style than the rest of the game. In fact it resembles some other RPG franchise… As does the spirit of Soul Calibur Elysium, who is a blonde with wings, and she also has wings on her head too for good measure. She is wearing a skimpy diaphanous costume where you can see her butt. She looks amazingly hot, but also inappropriately dressed for fighting, and fragile. The two main characters look like they just stepped right out of Final Fantasy. Read more »

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